INTRODUCTION


Just To Be Close To You


NOT LONG AFTER BECOMING KING, Solomon had a dream. In that dream, the Lord came to him and said, "Ask what I will give thee." (1 Kings 3:5-15) In other words, "whatever you want is yours." You know the story. Solomon could have had anything he wanted. As a king, he might have asked for the usual—long life, riches, the downfall of his enemies. But he didn’t ask for those things. He asked, instead, for an understanding heart. And scripture says his answer so pleased the Lord, that the Lord gave Solomon not only an understanding heart, but he gave him all the good things he didn’t ask for—the riches, the honor, the peaceful borders, the renown, saying to the young king, "there shall not be any among the kings like unto thee all thy days." (v. 13)

What if the Lord came to you and made the same proposal he made to Solomon? How would you respond? If you could ask for anything, for riches, for honor, for long life, a bigger house, a better job, to lose weight, and God would be pleased to give it, what would your answer be? Solomon answered wisely, like an anointed king, like a son of David should answer. And his answer pleased the Lord greatly. But there is one answer that delights him even more than Solomon’s. This book will tell us what that answer is and examine why.

You and I have one large advantage over all Old Testament kings and prophets. You and I have Christ. Unlike Solomon, we don’t have the mere promise of Christ. We need no longer look to mere types and images of a Christ yet to come. We have the real article. Like John said,

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life . . . That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ. (1 John 1:1-3)

We have the living person of Christ. Christ, who, above all things, showed us the father’s heart and provided access to it, an access even one as great as Solomon could only look at longingly, and from a distance. Christ, who paid the price of my admittance into heavenly places. Christ, who, with his own blood, marked out the path to the father, a path once denied to you and me. Christ, who said, "Come, and follow me . . . " Christ, who made my relationship with God more than just a possibility. Because of Christ, you and I can ask for something even better than an understanding heart. And it is no dream. When the Lord says to you,"Ask and I will give thee," give him this answer: Just to be close to you. Just to be close to you, Lord.

You and I were designed to live in relationship with him. We were fashioned with all the right stuff. It is embedded deep in our nature. It is unavoidable, inescapable. There is just something in each of us that wants desperately to connect, to be connected with something beyond ourselves, higher than ourselves, to be connected to the very source of life itself. We are created with this deep longing to be with God, to commune with him, to be partakers with him of heavenly things. He knows us well, and he knows that life without him, without his fellowship, a life without his guidance and his love is an empty life, a lonely, desolate life, a life that can bear no fruit.

But in him, there is a large life to be enjoyed. If I live righteously, that is to say, if I live in right relationship with God, I can live my most authentic life. I can be my most authentic self. This pleases the Lord, because we then live according to our original blueprint. A higher life. My first and my best life. In the noise of these times we live in, it is easy to lose our sense of who we are, and so we settle for something less, often not knowing any better. It gives him no greater joy than to say, "This is how I made you. This is how I know you. This is what I love."

I’m not sure we could ever exhaust this topic of relationship. I mean, one human being is complex enough by themselves. Put two of them together, or three, or a whole community, and the complications multiply. That is why it is so important to establish a relationship with God first, above all other considerations. He designed us himself and he can undo the complications. By living in relationship with him, we learn how to be successful in all of our relationships. God is the maker of all good relationships. It begins with him. It thrives in him. And is maintained through him.

To exhaust a subject as wide and as long and as deep as this one of relationship is a task I’m afraid this book will fail at. I say that because God is inexhaustible. A relationship with him is boundless. It means entering into communion with a mystery, with that we cannot see or touch, that we cannot hear or taste. And yet, in spite of those minor setbacks, a relationship with God is the most human thing we can ever do. It’s written in the code that makes you and me who we are. We can’t fully be ourselves without a relationship with Him, an intimate, transparent, loving relationship. I can only hope that a byproduct of this book might be how to have a successful relationship. How to keep them. How to cultivate and maintain them. How to nurture them. How to make them healthy. How to mend them when they break. What they’re supposed to look like. How they’re supposed to behave. What they cost. What returns I can expect on my investments. What makes them thrive. What makes them starve or die. What strengthens them. What makes them go pale or weak.

But we can lay the groundwork. We can pour a foundation. We can examine what it means to have a relationship with God, the first of all relationships, and on his terms, according to his measures, according to his perception of things. This will mean learning new things and unlearning others. It will mean putting to rest old patterns of behavior and embracing new ones. It will demand that we be teachable, submissive, that we allow our perceptions room to change. I will suggest ways you and I may not only cultivate, but also enjoy, yes, enjoy our life in God. He designed it for that purpose, to be enjoyed. And things we enjoy, we also practice. We repeat them again and again, living in the anticipation of them. Sounds like being in love to me.

The fact that God wants to have a relationship with you is perhaps the deepest and most well founded truth in all of Scripture. Yet, strangely enough, it is also the most troubling for many of us. We are not easily convinced that he wants a relationship with us. It is even harder to convince ourselves that God loves us. He is a father after all, and some of us have had bad experiences with fathers. They are not all kind. They are not all loving. They are not all looking out for my good. Still, in spite of our suspicions, in spite of our fear, in spite of the doubt and unbelief that separate us from our peace at times, God wants to have a relationship with you. He has gone to a lot of trouble to make himself available. It cost him the life of his only son, proving the point early in this book that there is always a cost.

In the Old Testament, in the book of Isaiah, the Lord is specific again and tells us that he created you and I for one purpose––that we might commune and fellowship with him, that we might live and have our being in him, that we would find our contentment in him, our happiness, which is the first-fruit of any successful relationship.

But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. Isaiah 43:1

There is very little mystery to this passage. Whether it is King James English, or modern English, it is the same in any tongue. You belong to me. This makes my relationship with God redemptive. It wasn’t a raised hand that saved you, or a confession you made somewhere in a desperate moment, no matter how sweet it was. It wasn’t that prayer you prayed, or the tears you wept. It is a relationship. Present tense. Now. As we speak. Salvation comes and is sustained by way of relationship.

A relationship with God has certain elements. These elements, though we will examine them separately, nonetheless belong together by a certain unity, colaboring interdependently in relationship together. These include RELATIONSHIP, WORSHIP, STEWARDSHIP, DISCIPLESHIP, PARTNERSHIP, and FELLOWSHIP. That’s a lot of ships, I know. Six to be exact, twice the number Columbus had as he sailed into the unknown. But you may just discover a whole new world. Columbus found his with only three.

Pastor Kerwin Lee, Stone Mountain, 2007





Chapter I



Becoming Closer to God Through Relationship



WE ARE CREATURES OF COMMUNITY. God made us that way. We were designed to live in relationship, not only with others of our kind, but specifically in relationship with God. That means your life is founded on, and defined in relationship. Not uncommon among most species, it is one of those unavoidable features of being human as well. From the moment we are born, we begin to learn just how connected we are, and how dependent we are on those around us. From our first cry, we begin to learn how it works—who to trust, who is warm, who feeds me, who sings to me at night, and so on. We learn faces and voices, how one voice differs from another, and what fun silly faces can be. We learn what anger sounds like. We learn what joy and happiness sound like, and the many shapes it takes as more and more people enter my awareness. As we grow, those first lessons give way to other, more complicated ones, but by the time we reach an accountable age, we are well trained in community.

In God, community it is also a matter of obedience. He has no less than commanded us to live in relationship. It is how we are defined in the Lord. He sent his son to confirm this, and to communicate this as a part of his gospel to the world.

God is faithful, by whom ye were called unto the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. 1 Corinthians 1:9-10

In any relationship, particularly a relationship with God, there are rules, laws that determine the failure or the success of a relationship. One of these is the law of accountability. To express this as a law might seem strong, but the Kingdom of God is not without its laws. Any kingdom has laws. It has to, to survive. It must have rules for there to be order. At one time, the Law, as we understand the old covenant, became a barrier between you and God. Christ came to earth not only to fulfill that law, and to make it of no effect, but also to establish a whole new order, one based on love, a new dispensation founded on a deep sense of community, founded in relationship. It is because of Christ’s obedience, because of his desire to please the father, his obligation to remove the threat of the old covenant, his desire to bridge the chasm between you and God, because of his accountability to the order of God, that we can have a relationship with his father, or even a book about it.

Accountability is simply answering to someone. It is subjecting yourself to discipline, having someone to whom you must give account. It is a way of being connected to someone in a way that demands responsibility, or some level of obligation. I am accountable to my wife. There are certain lines I will not cross because I am accountable to her. I am also accountable to the God that called us into that marriage. As a pastor, I am accountable to my church. There are certain specific obligations I must fulfill in order for my relationship with my congregation to bear fruit, and to function properly. There are many examples we could cite, but I think you get the point. Accountability is an essential element of any relationship. It is the same with our relationship with God. We are accountable to him, to his commandments, to his expectations of us, and to the love I have for him and his kingdom.

We are going to examine seven principles of accountability. Each of these will break down into three parts: The Principle, The Practice (how the principle might be implemented), and The Passage (the supporting scripture text).


Relationship Accountability Principles

The principle: COMMUNICATION.
The practice: Individuals sharing what they would like to see.
The passage: Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. (Ephesians 4:29).

Communication is the foundation of relationship. Matthew 12:34 and Luke 6:45 tell me that once I open my mouth, I’m exposing my heart. We expose other things as well. Sometimes we open our mouths just wide enough to put our foot in it. Either way, communication is the first order of all relationships. "Talk to me." Staring contests are fun, but very little is communicated. Communication can be defined as a necessary exchange between individuals, an exchange of information, an exchange of thoughts, opinions, ideals, inspirations, encouragements, and the like. According to Ephesians 4:29, our communication should be a positive event between believers. It should be worth something. It should have value. Our communication should edify and build up. It should not destroy or tear down. Communication between believers is one way Christ has access to each of us. For example, when we testify about an experience we had in God that changed us, that brought us closer to him somehow, this selfless act opens a clear passage between your heart and the heart of another person. And because Christ is at home in our hearts, we essentially are sharing him with our words.

More than just an exchange of information, successful communication means having access to one another. It means keeping our connections fresh and well maintained. The best kind of access is the kind that doesn’t demand a lot of work. Easy access. Preferred access. This is not possible without a certain amount of intimacy. You might think of it this way: "I choose to communicate with you, to share my heart with you, and to listen closely to what you have to say. I choose to protect our exchanges, however small, because our words have value. I choose to give our words the right ground to prosper between us for life and great benefit. In Christ, I am obligated to watch over, with great vigilance, every word I say, because my words are life. I will not be reckless with things I say, nor will I accept lightly the issue from your heart."

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:21

Successful communication means freedom, freedom from judgment, freedom of expression. It implies mutual respect. "I want to hear what you have to say. What you have to say is important to me. It is important to the well-being that exists between us and for the community we dwell in together."
Communication is critical in the community of believers. God gave us a tongue for a purpose, and that purpose is to bring him glory. To speak words of kindness to one another is as good as any praise song. To lift each other in prayer is stronger than the loudest pulpit. Fellowship is an unavoidable element of the spiritual life and without communication, fellowship can become paralyzed, if active at all.

Communication in Christ allows love to be put into circulation. It is like a current that flows between believers, an endless current that flows and ebbs, that gives and receives, that hoards or holds back nothing. On such a stream even the shy individuals feel at liberty to give of themselves, making the community of believers complete. Perfect love, complete love, love that is Christ centered casts out fear. Everyone is invited to attend.


The Principle: COMPROMISE.
The Practice: Individuals peacefully making changes to what was communicated
The passage: Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Ephesians 5:21

You’ve probably heard it said somewhere that compromise is a tool or invention of the devil. In certain circumstances it certainly can be. To compromise one’s faith for the sake of popularity or some reward is a good example of this type of compromise. But there is a compromise that doesn’t sound so unattractive. Compromise can be defined as a concession between parties to effect an agreeable settlement. It suggests surrender between the parties involved, giving up one’s own position for the sake of peace, or the attainment of some common good. That doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

Compromise is fairly common, in and out of the household of faith. We negotiate on a daily basis, do we not? That parking space you and two other people have their eye on. There is room for compromise there. Or something as simple as walking down the hall at school. You make space for others walking in opposite directions. As small as this negotiation is, there is still compromise at work. I may step aside and let a large group pass. I could demand my space and shoulder someone rudely. I’m standing my ground, but peace and good sense just flew right out the window. Plus, you could shoulder the wrong person and end up with a real problem. Compromise is a part of living. Like relationship itself, we learn compromise from our first day on earth.

With the diversity of beliefs within the Christian camp, compromise is a somewhat necessary thing. Here is a useful example: If I desire fellowship with another believer, one who practices different worship styles or observes different doctrines than I do, I must find that place of community between us, that link that binds us, that Christ place, that one common denominator where we both agree (Christ being the essential element of unity between us). I may have to give up something or at least restrain something for the sake of unity. Though it is not the easiest thing to do or to understand, this is compromise in the highest sense of the word.

We can take this a step further. Maybe I enjoy a certain gift of the spirit, one that my brother’s church doesn’t practice. Maybe, out of some lack of understanding, some old prejudice, his church preaches against such a thing. For successful fellowship with him, I am presented with a choice. I can fight for my rights and impose my belief upon him, I can speak in that tongue, I can prophesy in the midst of his shocked congregation, or I can set those things aside for the sake of unity. I can seek a common ground. Maybe he is uncomfortable with my gifts. Maybe he doesn’t understand them. Maybe he is not there yet. Maybe he has gifts that I might refuse if the situation was reversed. What I can do is this: I can come to him in the simple love of Christ, a love that has only one agenda, one central theme, one warm center, and that is Christ himself. I can come to him in absolute surrender, absolute obedience to the command of Christ, the command to love my brother or my sister. I can come to him and his church in humility, in meekness, and in servanthood. If love is my object, if love is the light by which my path is lit, my brother and I will find that essential place between us, that sacred place between brother and brother, that place that has little room for argument and petty differences.

The above is just one example, but perhaps an important one for believers today. Especially today. There are so many different Christian denominations in the world today, thousands of them, so it is imperative that we be equipped with the right skills of engagement. It is imperative that we understand relationship, that we understand community. Jesus told me to love these people. They are his. Therefore, they are mine as well. I love what he loves. This is harder than it sounds. It takes great courage and confidence in God to connect in such a way to someone outside your own spiritual comfort zone. It takes real effort to find that sense of community that binds you together. Compromise just takes the teeth out of your own arguments, and makes love the mediator between you and your brother. Compromise always demands something from you.

Sure, there is a cost. Love always costs something. I’m not sure love would be love without a cost. But in this type of compromise, God is pleased. I have divested myself. I have humbled myself before Christ and before my brother. I have surrendered something, something even precious, but I achieved fellowship, warm and true fellowship with my brother, one that cost me something. That’s the best kind.

And don’t be deceived. I’m not talking about accepting every one else’s beliefs and casting aside your own. You’ve worked hard. You’ve spent time in the presence of the king. You’ve sacrificed many things to be where you are spiritually. And God has led you on a path that is specifically your own, peculiar to you alone, and it’s as precious to him as it is to you. I’m simply saying there is a bigger picture, a higher evaluation of things, a vision we may achieve in the household of faith where love alone is sovereign, where love is bigger than the banner you hang outside your church, bigger than the name we call ourselves, bigger than our creeds and camp songs. In love alone is it possible to find that one common link between you and another believer, if that believer belongs to God. Even if they do not, then you can still love them. We all have our arguments, those petty strongholds that mean so very little in the final evaluation of things, even in the same church. All we have to do is look for them. They are always there. But love is nonetheless sovereign. Again, the world will know we are Christ’s by our love for one another (John 13:35) Love that is stronger than belief itself, love that is impenetrable, immovable, boundless, and infinite.


The Principle: COMMITMENT.
The Practice: Individuals agreeing to a specific plan of action based on what was communicated and compromised on.

The Passage: When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. Ecclesiastes 5:4

Commitment. This might be the most difficult element of all relationships. I only say that because of the present statistics on marriage. The percentages are pretty sad. I am referring to the divorce rate, particularly among Christians. In Christianity, the current divorce rate is about sixty-one percent (61%). This figure is higher than the divorce rate outside of Christianity. What does it say to you and I? One, that marriage, which represents the commitment of all commitments, the very image God has chosen to represent his relationship with the church, is an endangered institution. That it has come to mean so little in our time. That we lack the courage and the tenacity to remain true. Two, it says that we, as Christians, are sure talking a good game, a convincing game, but we are losing that game, which proves that talk is all we are doing. Making noise.

Living out our commitment is an entirely different matter.

Let me suggest this: that true Christianity, even as a true and prosperous marriage should be, is a form of martyrdom. A bloodless martyrdom, but a martyrdom nonetheless. It is quite simple, and it is quite Jesus-like. We lose our life, in order to gain it. We give something up. It costs us something. Sure, grace is a free gift. Salvation is there simply for the asking. But once we have accepted Christ, our life goes through a transformation. We are processed. We become different creatures, creatures capable of things we weren’t capable of before. One of those things is commitment. Why did Jesus hang on a cross? He was committed. Why did he endure the beatings he endured? Commitment. His obedience was fixed, immovable, unshakeable, relentless. He didn’t waver. He didn’t hesitate. Okay, even Jesus had his Gethsemane, but his commitment proved stronger than his complaint.

Surrender is the key, I believe, the key to a successful Christian life, and therefore the key to a successful life at all. I put aside my agenda for the sake of a command, for the sake of obedience, and obedience is better than sacrifice. I’ll go on to say that surrender is the key to any successful relationship, whether it be a marriage, or a relationship with God, or our next-door neighbor.

If I commit to God, all my inner resources are surrendered to maintain that commitment. My communication is surrendered, as is my ability to compromise. As the old song says, "I surrender all." Scripture says that, "we love him because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19) Another way of saying that might be we commit because he was first committed to us. He showed us how it was to be done, and what price we would pay. He didn’t trust you and I to figure it out on our own. We needed someone to show us, someone greater than ourselves. He is still in the business of showing us the path and helping us remain on that path, helping us keep our commitment to him and to life around us.

By the way, all the words in this section have the prefix com-.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, com- (Latin), implies a sense of "together, together with, in combination or union . . . altogether, completely." It was also reduced in English to the prefix co-, in which the general sense is together, in company, in common, joint, -ly, equal, -ly, reciprocally, mutually. Whatever form it takes, it’s still good English.


The principle: COMPLETION.
The practice: Individuals carrying out what they committed to.
The passage: But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. James 1:22-24

In Exodus 3:14, God introduced himself to Moses not as the I DO, but the I AM. "I AM THAT I AM." I AM is a state of being. Therefore, in himself, God is being, not doing. The name Jehovah means "the existing one," the one who is. It is a declaration of existence, that is, of being. There is a lesson in the name. God is sufficient in himself. He is THE GREAT I AM. THE GREAT I DO just wouldn’t sound the same. Doing follows being. All this might sound like a contradiction to the reference to the book of James, above, that says be "doers of the word and not hearers only." It is anything but a contradiction. Doing and being work best when together. If I say I love God, that is a state of being. And if I truly love him, doing follows, and with little effort. I want to do for him. Why? Because I love him. To do as he commands me to do, I put action to my words. Being and doing are inseparable. As believers, we are not defined by what we do, but by who we are in him. We can be the busiest person in the world, and have no love in us. But we can’t love God and remain idle.

Doing something for the sake of doing something is not worth much, the same way all the talk in the world, even talk about Jesus, without action is likewise not worth very much. It is the faith without works thing of James 2, verses 20 and 26. But we do because we are, because we are in him, because we are his, because we are partakers and sharers of his being. I know that sounds strange. Stay with me. In John chapter 13, Jesus commanded you and I to love one another. To act upon that command is as good as saying to him, "I love you, Jesus." Just to say the words is incomplete. It is just not enough.

Completion is when being and doing live together in absolute harmony. When being and doing agree, when the covenant between them is fulfilled.

We say we are complete in him, and if we can say that, our actions follow naturally. I’m no longer guilty of mere talk, but I implement my faith, I declare my faith with action. Even if I say nothing, I’m still expressing myself in what I do. And with a merry heart. Completing a task is a sign of maturity, even outside the faith. In the workplace, for instance, to tell your boss you will do a certain thing and then not act upon it is not only an offense against your boss and your fellow workers, but it is an indicator of your immaturity, your inability to keep a commitment, your inability to be trusted. It is an indicator of your lack of substance.

Again, commitment isn’t easy. It doesn’t come without a price. Endurance is not easy. Paul compared the life of the believer to an athlete competing for a prize, finishing the race. He uses this metaphor more than once in his epistles. Even Jesus, our first example, from the cross, cried, "It is finished." He could have said, "I have completed the task you have given me to do, Father. My life was not to be compared with the prize awaiting me."

To get closer to God, to get close with anyone for that matter, but particularly to God, commitment to the relationship is essential, it comes with a vow that we keep with our very life. He knows us too well to make too much of our words alone. As one writer has said about words, they are nothing more than "a mouthful of air." It is that inspired type of commitment that gives us the courage and the tenacity to finish whatever task God sees fit to give us.


The principle: CLARIFICATION.
The practice: Individuals discovering why, what was committed to was not carried out.
The passage: And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say? Luke 6:46

Understanding things in the spirit can be difficult enough, therefore, you and I, particularly in striving toward a relationship with God, need to be as clear as we possibly can. Transparency is a good word to introduce here. It literally means "a clarity of an object that allows light to pass through without any diffusion or obscuring of that light." We have come to use the word to mean clear, or open, without any discoloration of our words or meanings, nothing hidden. Transparency should be listed as one of the fruits of the spirit. How wonderful it is to speak with someone with whom you feel you have access to their very soul. A person whose honesty is generous, whose words are so clear in meaning you feel a certain resonance as they speak, a certain recognition of truth. You might remember a sermon you heard once that seemed so true, it seemed familiar, as if it was something you had known once and had forgotten, as if suddenly it comes back to you.

The household of faith is, or I should say, should be the household of truth. Transparency should be the rule and not the exception to the rule. Being open and honest with one another. Relationship thrives in such a fertile environment. Our sense of community deepens. But we know better, don’t we? We have all learned somewhere in our past that it’s not always good to be open and honest. You get hurt that way. Or you get taken. But what about Jesus? He is "the truth." Look what happened to him. Jesus spoke so clearly, it got uncomfortable for many who heard him. There were just those who didn’t want to hear the clarity in his words, the sharp truth that seemed to cut them, committed as they were to their own biases and their own religious spirits that could not tolerate such transparency. Jesus was always turning over tables. When Jesus spoke, the souls of men were laid bare. That was way too much for too many of them to handle. He shook up their system and that was intolerable. "Who was this upstart?"

Jesus also spoke in parables, hiding the truth of the kingdom behind a veil. He did this purposefully. There was reason behind everything he did and said. Nothing was arbitrary or out of place, down to the cursing of a fig tree beside the road. If it was unclear or hidden, it was unclear to those who could not hear. You had to pursue him to understand him. You had to want it badly. You still do. You have to want it more than life itself. Then, suddenly, there is light, and with that light, a clarity, an understanding that makes all the sense in the world.

He spoke in parables, but scripture says when he was alone with his disciples he spoke clearly to them. (Mark 4:34) One of the indicators of spiritual maturity is this type of clarity. Once you spend time with Jesus and he unfolds the truth, that truth becomes part of us, like the living word that it is. Our understanding becomes fruitful, and we are free to declare this powerful truth in simplicity and humility, in word or in action.

Community cannot survive outside of truth. And because communication is so critical, we must make every effort to be clear. There is so much talk in Christianity, maybe too much talk. Here are two scriptures that might all our talk in perspective.

In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise. Proverbs 10:19

For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words. Ecclesiastes 5:3

Ouch! If there is a lesson here it might be this: Keep it simple. Keep it short. And keep it to the point. Even in our latter generation, two-thousand years since the birth of Christianity, there is a lot to do. Confusion is of the devil. (1 Corinthians 14:33) Clarity then, is not.


The principle: COMPENSATION and CONSEQUENCES.
The practice: Individuals being able to list the positive and/or negative reactions of carrying out or not carrying out what was committed to.
The passage: But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. 2 Corinthians 9:6

We all want to be rewarded for things we accomplish in this life, especially things we’ve worked hard to achieve. You might have trophies on your mantle, or that diploma hanging proudly on your wall, signs of accomplishment. You have been compensated for an investment of your time and energy. The same is true of our life in God. We want to be compensated. We want a return on our investment, especially if we’ve done it right. If we have made the type of investment he has chosen for us to make, that he has commanded us to make, we have invested nothing less than our complete selves. To have it all, is to give it all. To regain paradise, to regain the throne of heaven itself, Christ had to give it all up. Willingly. He had to descend, by his own will, by his own choosing, from majesty to humility, from a throne to a stable, from a king to a servant.

Concerning your relationship with God, I want to make this suggestion. That Christ alone is our reward. The apostle Paul certainly felt that way. He set the example for us to follow. That I may have Christ, above all things. This is beautiful in the eyes of God. Paul’s motive was pure. And it pleased God.

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ . . . Philippians 3:7-8

But there are rewards. There are compensations, even as there are consequences. Of course, I like the word compensation much better than I do the word consequences. I might say the consequences of my labor, or the fruit of my labor. In other words, the end result, the return I can expect on my investments. If you do good, the fruit is good, the consequences are good. If you do bad, well, you know the rest. There are consequences for every loose word, every small and seemingly insignificant action. There is a return on the smallest investment, on the smallest seed we plant, whether literally, in the ground, or that word of kindness, or that harsh word spoken to your child this morning. "Be not deceived," scripture warns in Galatians 6:7, "God is not mocked . . . " You won’t be able to pull one over on God. He sees it all. His Word penetrates. He searches the heart, and knows our inmost thoughts. But he is also just, and his returns are just, even as they are punctual and inevitable. ". . . for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

I think the best defense is a good offense. In other words, don’t act for reward. In God, let the service itself be your reward. As I suggested earlier, let Christ be your reward. Think in terms of loving, rather than being loved. Think in terms of giving rather than receiving. In this way, not thinking of reward, your motives are purified, and this pleases the Lord, whose reward is with him, and in him. Remembering, from Proverbs, that "by humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and life." (Proverbs 22:4)

Live your life in community with God and with those he loves. Set your heart on relationship with him. The compensations, the rewards will follow. It can’t be helped.


The principle: CHOICES.
The practice: Individuals making a decision about the future of the relationship.
The passage: I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: Deuteronomy 30:19

One thing that separates man from the rest of creation is his will, his capacity to choose, to choose right or wrong, to take a moral position. It is also the very thing that causes him trouble. It got Adam removed from the Garden of Eden. Our will is perhaps the most difficult thing to surrender to god. And if we truly desire to get closer to him, we have to somehow wrestle this incredibly powerful part of us into submission. Till it cries, "uncle!" This is the one thing that will be asked of you and me perhaps above all other things, the surrender of our will to his. It is one of the necessities. Why? One reason is that our will, left unchecked or without government, remains in opposition to his. He wants our will to conform to his (with our ultimate cooperation and surrender, of course).

To get close to god, first means making a choice, the choice of all choices, the most important choice we are ever going to make. That is, to accept his invitation, and allow him access to your life, to let him in and give him dominion. And then doing whatever it takes to be faithful to that choice, learning all we can in support of the life that follows such a choice, anything that nurtures that life, that helps sustain and protect that life, and discarding and doing away with anything that would sabotage that life.

Even in the most successful of relationships there are choices. Having a successful relationship is the most liberating thing in the world. Within its boundaries there are endless decisions and choices to make, because the main choice, the first choice is behind you, the choice to enter into the relationship in the first place. But there are boundaries. I mentioned marriage. There are definite boundaries there. The ring I wear on my finger is a symbol and a reminder of those boundaries. I have given myself to one and only one person in my marriage. No one else has access to that private place she and I share. It might seem restrictive, especially in a world that mocks at marriage, a world where SELF is much more important, where ME is more important than WE. But it is quite the opposite. Because I know my boundaries, because I know what I can and cannot do, it’s easy for me to choose. Whatever is for our common good, that is the choice I will make. The same thing is true in your relationship with God. He has set his boundaries, and has written them down for us in his book. And sure, we have responsibilities and obligations. But we also have freedom within those boundaries. Infinite freedom. In John 8:31-32, Jesus said, "If ye continue in my word [if you hold to my teaching], then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." This is the truth that puts joy in the heart, and the dance back in your feet. It’s in the relationship. You are literally in relationship with the truth itself.



The Benefits Of Having A Relationship With God

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: 2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. Romans 5:1-5

If you haven’t guessed this by now, there are definite benefits in having a relationship with God. It’s another one of those inevitable things. It can’t be helped. You can’t make it not happen. The first, and most obvious benefit: our place in heaven is reserved. Each one of us has a seat at the table, near the Master Himself. But there are many other benefits as well. True happiness is one of them. The benefits of living in relationship with God are too numerous to list. They are infinite. His goodness, like himself, is boundless, limitless, redemptive, live-giving, life-enlarging, and without reserve. There are the fruits of the spirit that we may enjoy in continuous ration. How about true wisdom? True rest? Freedom? And many, many others. In harmony with the above scripture, we’re going to look at three major benefits of having a relationship with god: Expectations, Examinations, and Exhilaration.


A relationship with god leads to EXPECTATIONS. v. 2


Peter gave us the wonderful phrase "living hope." "In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead . . . " (1 Peter 1:3) We can be truly grateful for these words and what they tell us. This passage clarifies, even as it simplifies the first and greatest benefit of a life in God, and that is, hope. Because hope is a gift of God, it has a prophetic life, simply meaning, again, that it is alive. Hope is living substance. We can’t shoo it away. We can’t mess it up, any more than we could rid ourselves of God. He said he would never forsake us. Neither does the hope he grants us.

This type of hope can filter into our very blood and bones, bringing us health and wellness, not to mention a bright mental attitude to face the day before us. This is a valuable thing in a world that is so unstable and so unsure of itself. Without Christ, hope is a mere created thing, a manufactured thing, with no living substance to sustain it. It can fade with the first bad day. But the hope we possess has the life of God in it, and it is stronger than our capacity to spoil it.

Because we have this hope, we can live in expectation. For what is hope, but the expectation of things yet to be. In God, we expect good, not bad, all the days of our lives. Each day can bring bright new things our way. "Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life . . . " (Psalm 23:6 ) It’s not just a song. It’s not just rhetoric or nice talk. It is real, spoken from the mouth of the anointed king, David, a man who knew God the way God wanted to be known, "a man after his own heart." (1 Samuel 13:14) David understood the great benefit of living in relationship with God, and wrote it down for the rest of us, for those who are also "after his own heart." Again, there is a cost for such a life. Absolute surrender (I’m not sure if there is any other kind of surrender). And yet, once our will is submitted, along with our tongues, and our thought life, once all these are on a path of righteousness, we can walk about in hope, like men and women with hope. Goodness and mercy following us, like Mary’s little lamb.

The times we live in may prove to be difficult before too long. All the nations are being aligned just the way scripture long ago predicted. Israel is once again the center of attention of an angry world. There is more and more resistance to Christianity, more and more outward hostility. To be able to walk about in hope, real hope, living, breathing hope, is not only to have a defense against all the current madness, but also to have something worthwhile to bring to a world so desperate for the hope we have. To those who have no hope, those who believe there is no hope, we have something amazing to offer. We declare God in the hope by which we live.


A relationship with god leads to EXAMINATIONS. v. 3


Psalm 139 is a prayer of examination, of deep, thorough, cleansing, and purging examination. It shows how long and how deep the eyes of God penetrate. Looking beneath the veil, below the surface, where things are hidden in the heart, sometimes unknown to us. "You have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. You perceive my thoughts from afar . . ." (Psalm 139:1-2) A life in God is a life of continuous examination, a continuous piercing into the heart. "Deep calls unto deep . . . " another psalm says. (Psalm 42:7)

Many of the prayers in the bible are prayers of examination. A spiritual life is impossible without this intense examination. We can only trust god. We cannot trust ourselves. Self-examination, though not easy, is necessary. It is something we should allow for every day. It should be a part of our prayer life. To surrender, a common theme for this book, is a product of examination. We cannot surrender what we are not aware of. Examination is like God holding up a mirror, a clear, precise mirror, one that doesn’t necessarily flatter us, but tells us the truth. If I suffer some conviction of the heart, I have an advocate who I can turn to. I confess my crime and he is merciful to forgive and cleanse me of it. Sin has no dominion in me because I live in relationship with God.

Second Corinthians 13:5 (NIV) says, "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you-- unless, of course, you fail the test?" The truth is, when you fall in love with Jesus, when you are so smitten, so taken with him, so overcome with love for him and the life he confers on you, when you desire nothing but intimacy with him, you want to throw off everything that hinders you, everything that gets in the way of that intimacy. Your eyes become clear. We see ourselves clearly, maybe for the first time, and though it may be a painful thing to see, it is for our ultimate good. You may have to give up certain things someone else may not have to give up. Only God can illumine these things. Only he can show us the dirt under our nails and the shadows in the heart.

Sure, we are shy when it comes to examination. It is not a comfortable place to be. Too often there is some trial involved, something I don’t really want to go through, again. We fear exposure. But, for the diligent soul, for the one who persists and pushes forward, there will come a moment when love overthrows all other considerations. At that point, all your hesitations lose their strength. You’ve just past over another threshold, entered into a deeper level of awareness of him, a deep level of intimacy, a deeper level of relationship. The best words to end this section are not mine. Referring again toPsalm 139, listen to what the prayer says.

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

A relationship with god leads to EXHILARATION. v. 11


This is just pure praise. The stuff in each of us that’s hard to keep quiet. Once you know him, once you’ve given up one life for the next, once the expectations exceed your past limits, once you have allowed him to examine your inmost thoughts and motives of the heart, you can’t help but praise him. It can’t be muzzled or slowed down. Once awake, it doesn’t go back to sleep again. It filters into your daily life, your work life, your private life, your prayer life, your life with your kids, with your wife, your community life, anywhere life meets life, gratitude and thanksgiving will flow from you like rushing waters.

Living praise is the best kind of praise. When it is as natural as breathing or walking. For instance, take a simple act of kindness: in the eyes of God that act of kindness is a large act, especially if it was private, especially if no one but God saw it, or if it hasn’t been exploited before the public. The more hidden, the better. He loves that. That is living praise. When it shows up in what you do, or how you live. It’s better than music. Sweeter than psalms. To love people around you as he commanded, that kind of obedience is received by him as praise, maybe the highest praise there is. Again, better than singing, better than a thousand sermons. You leave glory on everything you touch. You leave little bits of your own imprint on everything, little traces of God on all things.

A relationship with God gives us energies that cannot be contained, energies that must create great things, that must invent wonders, that must create the finest art, the most beautiful paintings, poems, and songs of praise. It works upon us, it works within us, and it works through us to change the world we live in, to make it truly a more beautiful place. The joy of the Lord is contagious. It’s catching.