NOTE: This article was posted on GAITHERNET.COM/LIFESTYLES 5.16.02.
It appears here as it was printed. Written by Connie S. Owens Grief Counselor
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Finding Peace After Painful Goodbyes
Each of our lives is touched from time to time by loss. The feelings which result from painful "goodbyes" are referred to as grief. While often related to death, the grief reaction can also result from other losses such as a major illness, divorce, loss of job, even an 'empty nest.'
Although the circumstances may vary, all griefs share some common threads. While experts have previously described stages or tasks of grief, current teaching does not support this view of grief. Most now agree that it is a very personal and private response, as individual as the person experiencing it.
Mourning is an old term which simply describes the outward expression of the inner pain. It is this healthy expression of sorrow on the part of the mourner that causes discomfort and helplessness for those family and friends who are attempting to provide support.
Because the emotions and reactions experienced in times of grief are often poorly understood, most of our society would prefer to avoid all mention of the topic. Even in church congregations, grievers can be made to feel badly for expressing pain. As a result, many people repress their feelings of sorrow. While scripture and prayer bring great comfort, as well as the promises of heaven and future reunions, the believer still must deal with the pain of separation and the many ways that the loss affects daily life.
Broken hearts are very slow to mend. Years of living and loving cannot suddenly end without leaving the survivor fragile and broken. Those who desire to help can offer comfort through a caring hug, a card, a visit, as well as by giving a loving gift.
Such a gift is now available through the talent of David Teems, a noted artist and songwriter. David's father's death this past year prompted him to write about his own grief. The resulting CD is a collection of songs and prose called 'In the Mourning' which speaks from the depths of his own woundedness and touches a place deep within the broken heart to offer hope and comfort. If you, or someone you know, could use a copy of this soothing CD, it can be ordered on David Teem's website (www.davidteems.com/inthemourning.htm) where mp3s of selected tracks are available, or you can pick up the CD in 'The Comfort Zone' section at Gaither Family Resources.
This article has been provided by Connie S. Owens, Professional Grief Counselor, who spends several mornings each week at Gaither Family Resources, often making her listening ears available for grieving souls who are happening through. Next time you're in the store, be sure to look her up!
